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#231 Jojo The Bath Mishap

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I cried for my mum when I saw blood. I did not tell her anything like the whole truth.

Jojo

Way back in the 1970s baths had a much slope-ier back than they do now. My brother, who was 5 years younger than me, used to like watching me slide up and down it after our bath water had drained out. He giggled so much; it only encouraged me to keep going.

My mum was the big meany who told me to stop doing it as it was dangerous (and this was way before any health and safety laws really existed!) Anyway, this was a normal Sunday evening bath, water all drained out and I am happily sliding down and back up the sloped end. Unfortunately, I miscalculated this one time and I didn’t slide, instead I bumped down.

Not the worst experience you might think and this would usually have been true, but in this occasion my teeth took a chunk out of my top lip. Well, not wanting to get into trouble my first thought was to exit the bath however I could. I cried for my mum when I saw blood. I did not tell her anything like the whole truth. For over 35 years she thought that I slipped getting out of the bath. I still got a clip around the ear when I finally admitted what had really happened. Sadly, I live in a house with only a shower now!

Precis

The beauty of being in a company of older performers is the kaleidoscopic range of real-life experiences that they bring to the table. These experiences cover everything from the vivid and strange world of childhood, to the unexpected late awakenings of old age. Take our newest batch of anecdotes, for example. These new stories are delightfully diverse: from the earthly, sensual joy of baking bread, to the cosmic dreams of outer space; from an unnerving encounter with a poltergeist, to the risqué glories of adult pleasure products and burlesque. Running as a rich theme throughout, is the possibility of love, and the simple wonder of human connection. As one writer tells us, in her story of funeral rites and flirting, “Amidst death, life goes on”, and indeed it does, delightfully so.

Edited by Barney Bardsley