I had been suffering from a lot of depression. I was really bad. It was an advanced state of depression. Then my friends told me about a group and asked me to accompany her. I was really afraid to go. I used to think that it is quite unlikely that there will be anyone as depressed as me. I was also afraid of getting even more depressed. That’s why I was reluctant to go. She convinced me to go and so I went for the sake of friendship. And I felt good there. I realised there were many others just like me who were also depressed. This encouraged me. So, I felt good when I went there. I was supposed to visit once a week. They used to send a bus to pick us up. Everything was good there. We were supposed to talk to each other, and there were all sorts of people. It helped change my mood.

They had activities for us. They also organised trips for us outside. I liked it. It was quite encouraging for me. I also took part in counselling. Eventually I joined another organisation. It was related to home-starting. I completed a ten-week course in that. After completing the course, I used to visit homes and help them out. Earlier, I seldom spoke in groups. Soon after, another group was introduced. I joined that as well. Then there was a third group. I visit these groups once a week. Now I can speak in many places in front of everybody.

Even now, at times, I feel down when I am among a large group of people. This is a lingering effect of depression. At this time, I go out, or sit by the side and cry, if I feel like crying. This helps me calm down. Then I return to the group and even they know this about me. However, nowadays I visit many gatherings. Just like yesterday there was a course and someone from another group invited me. I had spoken in front of a large number of people there. So, I feel that joining a group is quite beneficial. You get to meet different people. These people help in you in all ways. They help you sort problems at home by advising you where to go and how to solve problems.

They also take you on trips, picnics, mandir trips, shopping trips. At times they also take us to town visits. Such as once we had visited Wales and stayed for a night there at Mātājī’s mandir. We had woken up at four to prepare for the pūjā and sabhā. I was supposed to oversee all that. So, when we get to stay with others in various environments, we are able to gain wide experience and become eager to meet each other. I mean, the group is a very good space in that respect. I, too, encourage others that if you know someone who isn’t going, ask them to please come. Now, while there is a women’s group, for Asian women, there is no group for Asian men. We were discussing this in the council meeting yesterday, that there is no group for men. Men also need to go out. There are lots of depressed men as well. There are several men who are lonely because their wives have passed away and now, they’re alone.

I do get depressed sometimes but it’s not like before. Earlier, if I would be in the midst of many people, I would get anxious. I would always be anxious in weddings and religious gatherings. I would have to step out for 15 – 20 minutes. I used to stand outside. People used to wonder why I was crying, and what was happening to me. I myself wouldn’t know what’s going on with me. To explain this to others is quite difficult. This is the reason why we receive counselling. I do not trust easily. When a person suffers, it becomes difficult to trust. Trusting is very important. This is why I say this.