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#861 Sharon Survive adversity

Sharon

I came from Kenya in 1960 and my husband came from India in 1964 and we were married in 1968. I worked in a sewing factory and my husband in an engineering firm. On weekends we helped in the shop run by the in-law’s family. I wanted to study further to complete my nursing course but my in-laws did not allow me to do so. This upset me, and we decided to separate from them so I could complete my nursing course. I got my first job in a care home as a Team Manager.

His parents wanted us to move back with them but we decided to buy our own house. We did not have enough money to buy a house. I have to borrow some money from my parents. We bought our first house in Leeds 6 which was a through-terraced house. Later we moved to live in Leeds 7 in a semi-detached house. During this time I had my children, and we were enjoying our life and settled well in Leeds.

One evening in 2018 my husband wanted to watch a famous Bollywood film ‘Mughal-e-Azam’ and I joined him. We went to bed late at night and I told him not to snore as I had an early morning shift. I got up early in the morning to prepare for work. When I came out of the bathroom I found him lying on the floor. I became nervous and rang my sons. They came and we rang for an ambulance and the ambulance arrived in 3-4 minutes. By the time we reached the hospital the doctor declared him dead. We were shocked. I could not shed a tear and hardly believe he had suddenly left us. I was like a statue. My sons were asking me what had happened, why you could not hear his fall. I had no answer.

He was sent for a post-mortem and the result was heart failure. A week before, we in a group went abroad to celebrate his 70th birthday. It was a fantastic event and we all enjoyed it. His departure left me high and dry. I did not know what to do and I could not cope with the many chores in the house. I did not know how to deal with the paperwork and had never done any banking. My parental family visited me often and they supported me during my bereavement years. I still feel lonely without him and sometimes think life is not worth living now. I spent a lot more of my time doing community work and religious activities to console myself. I also go to other group activities to have a social life and learn more.


Precis

A Kenyan-Indian couple who moved to the UK in the 1960s and built a life together face the sudden death of the husband, leaving the wife to cope with the aftermath and find solace in community work and social activities.