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#863 Sanjana Visvasghat - Emotional violence

Sanjana

My name is Sanjana and I come from South India. I am an educated woman and had a highly-paid professional job. I was very happy in my working environment and enjoyed my life there. My circumstances changed overnight when my mother was diagnosed with cancer and found it serious. I was the only child living with her and taking care of my mother. She needed 24/7 daycare. It was a very difficult time for me. I had no one to share my worries with or support me in my difficult time. I used to google to find information as to how to support her. It was a coincidence that I found an online site for companions. I became curious to know the content of this site. I found a boy from my background and made a contact with him. He gave all his details such as education, job, and married status. I contacted this guy and found him very polite and well-spoken. We started talking on the phone and felt him very supportive, giving me a lot of emotional support. He rang me almost every day asking about my mother's well-being, listening to my concerns, and giving me hope. I began to like and trust him.

The day came that I dreaded when I took morning tea for my mother and found her dead. It shocked me. There was no one to solace me and hold me. I was crying on her deathbed not knowing what to do. He rang me and I told him that my mother had passed away and I could not talk to him any further as I was crying, and my voice was heavy. He travelled from the UK and helped me to perform the funeral and other rituals. He proposed to me, and we decided to marry as I was lonely and desperate for support. Soon after I joined him in the UK, but soon after our marriage I found that he was not interested sexually in me and was trying to avoid me one way or another. He did not want me to make friends or go anywhere. I was fully controlled. Someone told me that he was gay and wanted to marry for family prestige. Some members of his family tried to take undue advantage of me, and I was sexually harassed by one. I could not tolerate what was going on around me and with the help of a social worker I managed to get out of the situation. Now I live on my own and try to help others face distressing situations.

Precis

A woman from South India faced difficult circumstances when she had to care for her mother with cancer, found emotional support from a man she met online, but later discovered that he was gay and wanted to marry for family prestige, leading to a situation of control and harassment before managing to escape with the help of a social worker.