My autistic son, Nick, had a bit of blood in his stools – so I took him to the doctors. We’re in the doctors, Nick’s lying on his side and the doctor’s putting on his latex gloves. “Slap, Slap.” The doctor asked me if Nick would be okay. Now this is the funny bit, I’m from Nottingham but for some reason it came out all Yorkshire.

“Well,” I said “He’s normally quite biddable, y’know, obliging…but there’s no one tried to stick their fingers up his bum before!”

He was ok, as it ‘appens, apart from the massive look of surprise on his face!