I love it when musical planets collide. At the Seven by Seven sessions, this quite naturally happens due to the array of different sounds on display. Sometimes, however, there are things stirring in the back room...

The Wharf Chambers has a kaleidoscope of alternate happenings that take place within the venue. As well as the Seven by Seven events, they have techno and house DJs, band nights, flea markets and film showings. I am bound to have missed something, but you get the gist. They do a wide spectrum.

Now! The place is generally closed on a Sunday. It opens primarily for the Seven by Seven melange, but, on occasions, other events can take place. Apologies if this is a bit boring. I am just trying to set out the framework of the place. Don’t worry, I have a funny story about Mark E Smith coming up shortly...

The very first time I stepped into the Wharf Chambers was to collect my membership card for the club (that actually reminds me I must renew it the next time I visit). It only costs £2 per annum (it was only a quid back then) and £15 for lifetime membership. I picked a Saturday afternoon to grab mine as it was my one day off work that week and I presumed it would be a relatively quiet time. I didn’t know about the two-day death metal extravaganza taking place that weekend. There are scenes from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre less frightening than what was witnessed on this occasion. I did think though, on entering the building that day, “I think I like this place! A lot!”

Some of my favourite nights at Seven by Seven have happened when there has simultaneously been a gig going on whilst regulars are casually spinning their records. The atmosphere in the room increases tenfold, I reckon. The look of bewilderment on the faces of the gig-goers as they enter the bar area followed soon after by a nodding of their head as they ‘get it’ is a familiar sight and always terrific to see.

A typical scene: the record ends, a ripple of applause and a sheepish grin from the DJ, scuffing noises as the needle misses the vinyl next time around, a generous cheer as they get it right on the second attempt and then a murmur of delight as Leroy Smart’s “Get Smart” explodes into life and sets off all the Richter Scales and fire alarms in a 5 mile radius.

• Movement

• Feet tap

• Arms flap

• Legs akimbo

• Hips a-go-go

• Lights swirl

• Heads whirl

• Symbols crash

• Finish

Unconventional, unexpected or out-of-the-ordinary settings for an event nearly always lift the vibe in some way. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a gig or DJ set, a book launch or even a grand opening for something or other. That actually reminds me how much I miss the days of a celebrity (usually low grade, usually local) who would snip the ribbon at some new enterprise and declare it officially, “OPEN FOR BUSINESS!!!” Although not of that ilk that brings to mind a time when two friends (Dave and Nigel) were stranded in Whitby for a few hours when their train from Sunderland to Leeds, following a football match, had to divert for some reason or other. They decamped to a bar for a while. One of the lads (Dave) went to the loo, and on his way back got a couple of drinks at the bar for the two of them. On returning, he saw Nige deep in conversation with an oldish looking fellow, sallow of cheeks, smoking endless fags and furiously quaffing Lowenbrau Pils from two bottles which had been poured into one pint glass. The overheard conversation that Dave caught was regarding the poor standard of fish and chips in the town and what is best, skinless or skin on. As he approached the table, Dave realised who the chain-smoking, beer guzzling individual was. Mark E Smith of the Fall.

“You’re Mark E Smith!” he exclaimed as he put the drinks down.

“No! Wrong fella, sunshine!” was the reply in a husky Manchester accent.

With that, he moved to a table in the corner but not before pinching Nigel’s fags and his lighter, and completely ignoring the two friends.

“That was definitely him, Nige.”

“Oh yeah! I didn’t even think of that. I thought he was local as he knew so much about the area and the chippies...“

It doesn’t really surprise me as such. Smith was well known for hanging around in dives and Whitby would be a typical out-of-the-way town the band would tour around that time. Another friend, who was in a band called Bette Davis and the Balconettes, tried to get onto the same label as Smithy on one occasion. He told her he could get them on it and release a single, but she would have to buy ALL the Fall’s back catalogue first. That’s a lot of stuff! He was quite a boy was old Smithy.

The silly story is just an example of how things that shouldn’t work, do work occasionally. Or how people who shouldn’t be in certain places that are terrible, suddenly appear and spark incredible energy into the bar or club or venue. Sometimes a lopsided, wonky manifestation can breathe fresh life into things.

I remember the first time I witnessed a gig carrying on at the same time as a Seven by Seven event. I only sussed there was something happening when there was literally no space at the bar. I had just played a set and came back to my seat to find Smitty chatting to three young folk who were incredibly curious to find out what was happening. For some reason or other, we introduced ourselves as Dave Starsky and Ken Hutch, probably just for our own amusement. It was pretty unlikely that these art students from Hull (for that is what they were) had any idea about some cardigan wearing detectives from the 1970s. At least we didn’t go down the Antonio Fargas route (or Huggy Bear, as he was known). These youngsters, for they couldn’t have been more than 22, were bewitched by the music and the whole style and approach of the Seven by Seven event. They seemed kind of in awe of us. I don’t know why, but they had an innocence and naivety that was refreshing to see. It gave you hope for the future.

Another musical self-combustion occurred during the Leeds Goth City Festival which had an afternoon at the Wharf during a Seven by Seven gathering. I wasn’t there, but I heard so many good things about the night I nearly convinced myself I was. I could almost smell the patchouli in the air… I am pretty sure that the Seven by Seven get-together picked up some goth stragglers on account of this night. Ash for sure is one notable. Some dry ice and lots of crucifixes would go down a treat for future gatherings I am certain.

The last jumble of fun at the Seven by Seven was in December. Zounds, Eastfield and Indignation Meeting were playing parallel to the event. It was Christmas and so everyone was in fine spirits anyway. All I remember is constantly dashing from the gig and then rushing back to the (incredibly packed) bar so I wouldn’t miss any of the sets. It helped that it was only about 50 feet away, but still... The bands were all brilliant. The atmosphere was so charged. The music was turned up extra loud and the place seemed to be open long past its official closing time. I felt like I was floating at one point.

Then I landed. Boom!