I cried for you today - as I have done many times 

As the tears spilled down my cheeks

I thought of your skies and wild vast veld

I felt your drum beat and heard your lions roar

I heard the summer crickets kritty krik…clicking

The Click Click Song!

I thought of your warm smiles and open hearts

Mothers with children they carried on their backs

And our childhood companions

Brothers and sisters from different mothers

Who we knew then

Before

They tried to teach you to hate

Before we knew what different colours we were.

I’m a paler whiter hue

You are darker

You!

I thought of the African sunrise, shining bright

Waking us up every morning after the warm summer night

And how we thought we would be in our lovely homes forever …

Never imagining for one moment that we would ever leave by choice - of our own free will

I thought about how we bravely

Convinced ourselves…

Thinking we would be just fine elsewhere in the World…

And that Africa and its divisive politics could go and hang for all we cared!

And so we sold up - we moved away and boarded our planes

And we set up base camp in the far-flung corners of the planet …

Far far away from home…

And we smiled at the Canadians their

“Newbie” jokes

And would braai (bbq)our boerewors on Australian beaches

And celebrated American Independence Day

And froze our asses off in the long UK winters!

And were frowned upon by others

Our raw meat eating habits uh!

By our pasty pie-eyed friends or snowflake vegan neighbours

And we learned new slang

“Ya all raaat?!” OK Ja!

Borrowed accents and cultures trying…to fit in …

Trying to belong…

Ho yes!

Ooh Aye!

But there’s a heart in a true African that runs much deeper than that man

It is unspoken and cannot he verbally explained that well…

But it’s uncovered when one African finds another…

Abroad …

It breathes life into the soul

No matter where they are -

China, Russia, Belgium or Ireland…it’s all the same!

Howzit boet!

Where you from?

What’s your name?

Whats your tribe?

And as we find each other…

So we lose each other some!

In the mix of our different journeys…

But still we can’t let go -

That slight familiar echo,

That verbal twang… body language too!

Calls us… always lurking beneath the surface waiting for A Boet or Sussie or two!

So we make our batches of lekker sticky Koeksusters #

“Dance Sum Mor” again to Johnny Cleggs & Savuka

“Scatterings of Africa” dewey eyed…

Mango Grooves “Special Star”

Blasts out!

We are really moved…get on our feet, have a bop…

Groove!….

Fired up now are our African hearts burning brightly again…

We remember our humbled

happiness and call each other Boetie, Sussie! Kinders!

Ag Shame!

Sies Tog!

But as in the “Circle of Life”

“The Lion Sleeps Tonight”

“Tarzan Boy” dashes through the trees with his call!

We pour out a Rooibos tea

No milk please! Biskuit?

Asseblief!

Then we realise too…

We have lost our colour…

As our multicoloured

Rainbow has slipped from us We have become absorbed into the World

Neutral in identity…dissolved and diluted into mundane humanity

No more do we slip into Zulu, Shona, Xhosa

Yehbo !….Afrikaans?

Hoe gaan dit met U?

Not a chance!

And then we suddenly remembered…

Hell you know - I’m not really English!

Not Canadian, Australian, French or American!

No

We are Africans!

And we are too far away from our birth homeland

Kicked Out Of Africa

Far from the lazy Limpopo River

The thirsty Swellendam

The Umgeni, Umbilo, Tugela

Far away from the mozzies

Flying around our ears at night

No more Drakensburg Sunsets

Table Mountain Views

Durban harbour lights…

John Ross House

Apartments at dizzy heights

Roma Revolving Restaurant

South Beach 101

Addington, Ansteys, Bluff

Richards Bay

La Mercy King Shaka International

Louie Botha Airport is gone now…

Had its day!

South Coast resorts

‘Toti to Port Edward

Golden sands for miles…

No more blackjacks in our socks or bluebottles on our thighs

No red-hot poker plants

Purple Jacaranda trees

Sitting outside

Sun-tanning in January

On the generous verandah

With the stunning view

Flora and fauna galore

Plot - a few acres green space

Infinity pool - ace!

Slasto slate surrounds

Gazebo, built in braai

Sunsets to die for!

Ja …check it out man

Through my…

African eyes…

No, we’re miles away from there

Kloof, Waterfall and the Mooi River that

Runs through all our veins

Ja!

As surely as we migrated with the wildebeest herds…

As we ran with the cheetah…

Chanted for the Springboks…

Through the rain and African thunderstorms and lightening

We were so utterly drenched and soaked through with life!

And our hearts wept and broke

When we realised…

The last of our true freedom was on the vast horizon just out of sight…

And we know now deep down inside…

You know?….

No… we are NOT alright!

Not OK after all

But…shhh!

“Vooringtoe gaan ons voort!!”

(Forward we must surely go!)

We were trapped in a mundane life and we had left….gone!

Our souls in the place of our birth

WE have no Independence Day to celebrate,

No Labour Day with which to relate to

Or an Anthem to

“Save Our Gracious King”

How I wish we had SOME heritage to celebrate

But that too…was

Taken away…

Erased from History

Does not fit in with todays World hey?

Our forefathers and visionaries That generation has long since gone…

And our expectations

Have vanished

In the dust devils of the years

Now all that we can do is pray for deliverance

Change…

Embrace other cultures

Adopt them as our own…

And HOPE our precious memories

Last long enough to relate them to our children and grandchildren

Those who will never know the rich inheritance and absolute pure beauty

We wished to pass on to them

This will only live on in the stories and the fading memories…

And as we wipe away

Cascading tears and thoughts of those wonderful years

We give thanks that we were fortunate enough and blessed To experience the true Africa

In its fullest sense

The summers on the beach with burnt tanned skin and glowing faces …

Safaris through the bushveld

For the Elephants matriachal Society taught us and

Nurtured us to learn the values of this life

I will never stop longing for peace in Africa

I pray for the starving children

My brothers and sisters with AIDS

The fathers who cannot feed their families

The mothers with babies ill in their arms

And in my dreams …

I do return!

Regularly!

Almost every night I walk in the African sands where our footsteps have long blown away

Although we are no longer there…

You reside in our hearts, our minds dear Africa

Where?…

KZN in particular

Its our identity - who we are!

Our generation

For how CAN a heart forget

I haven’t lost my way…hey…yet!

I just follow the rhythm of my old mislaid life map

Perhaps some day soon

I will return

But…this is one of the heaviest burdens the human heart carries…

As every ex-pat South-African knows!

These words ring true

To so many scatterings of Africa

Living abroad throughout the World

Homesick now hey Boet?

Nahhh….never…not me!!!

Yorkshire is now my home

I see the four seasons

The beautiful contrasts see

Some grey days linger on…

Yeh I get so cold!…

Warm up, dress 3 layers, hat and scarf!

Many reasons to like being over here…

Europe on our doorstep

2 hours to sunny Spain

Not a 12 hour flight away!

Nice places like Scarboro’ and Whitby

Compassionate, kind folk on the whole -

Some idiots like anywhere else!

Free and fair play

Level playing field

A bit expensive

But SA is that now!

No privileges for the minority

A divisive class system- but hey!

No need -

Share generously…

We all breathe the same air!

Yes, here I will stay-on digital sundecks!

My Yorkshire passport non-expiry!

Whatever Next!!!

# A sticky sweet pastry delight

Steve Leo Whitby 26/06/2022

(update 21/01/2023)

(Think hard before you emigrate- there is no perfect place!

Your mind will play tricks on you!)