“Is there anybody there,” said the traveller,

Knocking on the moonlit door.

“Hang on a minute,” my Mum replied.

“It’s twenty-five past four.

You can’t go knocking people up

At this time in the morning;

To almost break my front door down

Without a word of warning

Is tantamount to harassment.

So will you go away?

And if you’ve genuine business

Come back during the day.”

“I can well understand your caution,”

The man outside replied,

“But I promise you advantage

If you’ll let me come inside.”

“You really must be joking”

(My Mum’s getting serious now)

“If you think I’m opening my front door.”

And the cat wailed, a furious “miaow”.

“I shall phone the police directly;

They’ll be round before you know,

For the station’s just next door but one

So if I were you I’d go.”

“But please,” tried the traveller’s voice again

“Have sympathy with my plight.”

“Bugger off,” said my Mum, “And leave us alone.”

So my Dad slept out that night.