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#263 Barbara Robson Newlyweds Can’t Wait to Get Into Bed!

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And me and my husband wore Bermuda shorts and I had a veil made out of pink, lemon, bright yellow, shocking green and pink. Net. Down to the floor.

Barbara Robson

We used to do a bed push at St James’s Hospital. We did it for about ten years. We pushed a hospital bed from Leeds to Scarborough the first year. And then we had the bed adapted with special wheels. So we did one every year for charity. And one year i was getting married. And we tended to wear Hawaiian shirts and brightly coloured shorts on the bedpush. So we were getting married and we decided it’d be nice if we could get married before the bedpush. And we were joking and saying ‘Cos then we won’t have to invite anybody cos they’ll all already be there!’ So then we went down to the Registry Office and we asked them if they could open at 9 o’clock. Cos the bedpush was leaving at half past nine from Radio Leeds. But she said ‘Well we don’t open till half past nine.’ But she said what’s it for and we told her for a new kidney unit. So she said hang on a minute. So she came back again and said He’ll open at nine o’clock for you. His son had a kidney transplant in there a few months ago. So he’s really grateful to you.’

So the men, we had the dresses made, off the shoulder blue dresses, full length. And they had flowers in their hair, carried bouquets. And me and my husband wore Bermuda shorts and I had a veil made out of pink, lemon, bright yellow, shocking green and pink. Net. Down to the floor. And we came out of the Registry Office and the bed was outside all dressed up. And in the Evening Post it said ‘Newlyweds can’t wait to get into bed!’

And we had a Best Woman, a Page Girl and four male Bridesmaids. We were walking through Headingley… They walked all the way to Otley dressed like that before they got changed. So, it was really good. We did shifts with the bedpush, we didn’t do all the way. And then when we came back we had the reception in the pub.

The bed was moving from when it left Radio Leeds… Cos the DJ, when we walked in, he played three records in a row because he couldn’t speak. He was laughing so much. So the bed moves all the time and it moved all the way to Scarborough.

We did it in teams. So we pushed it overnight to Otley and then had the reception the following morning and got back at teatime.

Precis

The beauty of being in a company of older performers is the kaleidoscopic range of real-life experiences that they bring to the table. These experiences cover everything from the vivid and strange world of childhood, to the unexpected late awakenings of old age. Take our newest batch of anecdotes, for example. These new stories are delightfully diverse: from the earthly, sensual joy of baking bread, to the cosmic dreams of outer space; from an unnerving encounter with a poltergeist, to the risqué glories of adult pleasure products and burlesque. Running as a rich theme throughout, is the possibility of love, and the simple wonder of human connection. As one writer tells us, in her story of funeral rites and flirting, “Amidst death, life goes on”, and indeed it does, delightfully so.